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Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child resources

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276  Index Spitzer, R. L.,145 Taboos: children’s sexuality and family, STDs,see Sexually Transmitted Diseases 105,112,204; homosexuality and Stein, Gertrude,188 cultural,28–30,224,225 Stereotypes, positive,48,189 Teachers,59 Stigma,4,60,184; African American Theory, data and grounded,249–51 gays and,220–22; African American Therapists,17,41,58; being asked to lesbians and,218–20; anticipatory “convert” gay child,175; bisexuals courtesy,82; Asians and,224; of and,238; coaching parents away from bisexuality,146; courtesy,22,82, children’s appearance and on com- 96–97,160,205–8; double,218–21, munication,181–82; encountering 224; family affair of managing, homophobic parents,178; engaging 214–15; family sensitization, isola- fathers,210–12; mutual avoidance tion and,4–8; homosexual, x, xiv,5; and family,26; reaching for posi- parental fear and religious,97–98; tives,209–10; tolerating intolerance, peer harassment, parents and, 124–26; trust with,63; working on 7–8,64,164; public,22,96,205; self,47–48; youth speaking about race, ethnicity, stigma and,218–21; sexual orientation with,41–45;see also siblings of gays/lesbians and,243, Treatment 245; structural dimension of,5–6, Therapy: cognitive behavioral,60; 45; vicarious,22,205; white parents “curative” conversion/reparative, managing,215; youth coping with, 144–45,147; family discovery crisis 7,62,79,105,128,229 and family,131–33; precoming-out Stone Fish, L.,42,43,178 subphase and family,62–63; recovery Straight Parents, Gay Children (Bern- and family,176–82;see also Treatment stein),129 Tomboys: behavior,19,159;see also Strohl, D.,5 Lesbians Suicide: coming out and attempts at,3, Transgender Emergence: Therapeutic 68–70,85,110,148,194; ideation and Guidelines for Working with Gender- precoming-out subphase and,54–55; Variant People and Their Families thoughts of,7,50,51,52,54 (Lev),243 Support: confidants’ trust and,139–42; Transgender youth,159–60,240–43,247 sharing and,135; treatment and get- Trauma, positive aspects of,183–84 ting outside,127–29; youth groups Treatment: during family discovery and,56,113,219,223; youth needing crisis,122–33; family recovery and, parents’,55–58 174–82; family sensitization and im- Suspicion: daughters and parental, plications for,41–47; family therapy, 17–22,52; initial phase of family 46–47,62–63,131–33,176–82,209–15; discovery/adjustment and,17–31; getting outside support and,127–29; inklings, denial and,23–27; not individual sessions with youth, discussed,20–21; parental guilt 41–45,59–62,126–27,176; separate and,21–23; parents without,27–31; sessions with parents,122–26,174–75; reasons for parental,17–20; sons and therapists working on self,47–48; parental,19–20,22–31,51;see also working with children before coming Coming out out,41–45; working with environ- 11_lasala14382_idx.indd 276 3/10/10 1:57:21 PM

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