Previous Page Next Page 
(c)  2025 Columbia University Press. All Rights reserved.

Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child resources

Extracted Text (may have errors)

xvi  Preface the data with tentative explanations as well as develop practice suggestions. My theory and clinical implications are not evidence-based where they have not been empirically tested with this population. I hope the reader keeps in mind that my findings are best considered hypotheses, no matter how strongly asserted. Nevertheless, the clinical recommendations in this book are based on research findings and, if combined with the practitioner’s clinical wisdom and common sense, should prove useful. Furthermore, it is important to understand that most of the parents in these families were at least somewhat adjusted by the time I interviewed them. This does not mean they did not go through difficult times—as you will see, many did. But, for the most part, these tough times were behind them. With few exceptions, I did not attract families with parents who did not recover, at least somewhat, from the news that a daughter or son was gay or who persistently rejected their children. My general experience as a researcher and clinician has taught me that it is difficult to get people who are unhappy or in the middle of a crisis to talk to a research interviewer about their experiences—those are the folks who come to see us as therapists. So these findings are not necessarily representative of the entire population of gay and lesbian families (whatever that is), but more likely indicative of the adjustment that is possible—and what therapists can help families strive for. “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain” (anonymous). The simple yet profound wisdom reflected in this quote is made evident in the stories of these families. I was moved and hum- bled by the way parents and children held onto one another, growing closer despite their fears and shattered expectations. Once again, as in my previous work, I was awestruck by the depth and persistence of family connections, which led me to reflect on the mysterious ties that bind families together, including those that bind me to my own. I learned a lot from these families—I hope you will as well. 01_lasala14382_fm.indd 16 3/10/10 12:50:45 PM

Help

loading